What news events caught the eye of The Tomboy Tirade crew? Hosts of Asia’s biggest and only all-female comedy chat podcast, Persis and Raven from the Tomboy Tarts give their ten prickly picks for the month of February.
PRICKLY PICK #1:
Only a week into his duties and Trump is already off for his first weekend vacation. We hear it’s going to consist of lots of spa time, an appointment at a toupee shop and endless tweeting.
PRICKLY PICK #2
Prince William and Prince Harry will be honouring the memory of their mother, Princess Di with a statue at Kensington Palace. Meanwhile, Prince Charles is still struggling to get an ‘A’ for his final pottery class project.
PRICKLY PICK #3
Things are so bad for America with Trump at its helm that the FBI recently reported that Al-Qaeda forces around the world have been given the memo to sit back and relax the next 4 years as the United States collapses at its own hands.
“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps.
Bring out the popcorn and o, get some old reruns cued up on Netflix.
PRICKLY PICK #4
Automation has come to Starbucks! The company recently unveiled a virtual assistant that takes your order via messaging or voice. New coffee items on the menu include Google Grande, Hackspresso and Cyber-ccino. Damn, those coffees are going to taste like microchips now.
PRICKLY PICK #5
The incredible Jonah Hill is now going around Hollywood showing off his recent weight loss and insiders are saying that if he continues shrinking the way he does, Marvel might just cast him as a stunt double in the next Ant Man sequel. We can’t wait!
PRICKLY PICK #6
We all know cats are secretly plotting to take over the world. Now there is proof. Cats have just invaded sacred canine territory. That’s right, they are making their official debut at Westminster Dog Show. Are cats the alternative dogs? Or are the dogs actually alt-cats at the soon-to-become the Westminster Cat Show? Have these feline picks been subjected to extreme vetting? Dog purists are calling for a total and complete shutdown of cats entering the Westminster Dog Show until the Senate can figure out what the hell’s going on.
PRICKLY PICK #7
Beyonce just announced on her Instagram that she’s pregnant. With twins who may or may not be birthed in a secret garden full of flowers, hope and a blue backdrop. The Sears portrait studio has outdid themselves this time. Congratulations!
PRICKLY PICK #8
In a bid to stay relevant, Kim Kardashian hints that she and Kanye West are trying for baby number three as she shares a cryptic post from a fan. Oh, isn’t that sweet? Too bad Queen B has already stolen her thunder with a surprise pregnancy announcement and – and we all know how Yeezy feels about Jay Z. Looks he’ll have to do Jay Z one better. Triplets, anyone?
PRICKLY PICK #9
What is the most over-the-top send-off for a writer who favours the absurd? Blast his damned ashes out of a bespoke canon for a cool $3 million, if you’re Johnny Depp. Sure Depp must be earning big bucks to sustain spending like that. Except his career is in a free fall with a recent series of flops. Still that did not stop his extravagant lifestyle as his bank account went up in smoke. Oh no, get the poor man a drink – except he’s ready got that covered to the tune of $30 000 per month as alleged by his disgruntled ex-bank managers. So it’s probably a good thing that Depp is paid a lot of money to reprise his role as Captain Sparrow – in a new Pirates of the Caribbean franchise that nobody really wants.
PRICKLY PICK #10
With the weight off their shoulders, the Obamas were spotted kicking back in the British Virgin Islands. Former President Barack Obama even got his hat on backwards like it is 1990s and Donald Trump isn’t the president yet. Will Michelle Obama return with three dragons? We can only hope.
